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Joke of the Day

"Where others used to bloat facial features or apply some filters to make someone look ugly. I could proudly boast #NoFilter"

"What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex? Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak."

"The only thing keeping me from cutting eye holes in a newspaper to spy on people in the coffee shop is my constant lack of scissors."

"Why can't a Pirate make it through their ABC's? They always get lost at C."

"What's the difference between a jeep and a rental car? A rental car can go anywhere"

"Manager: I'll give you fifty pounds a week to start with and a hundred pounds a week in a year's time? Young player: OK I'll come back in a year's time!"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Barbie ! Barbie who ? Barbie Q !"

"13: Dad, do you believe in miracles? Me: Do you remember spray painting my car? 13: yeah M: Are you breathing? 13: yeah M: Well, there ya go"

"Top 3 questions asked by my parents: 3) How's the business? 2) Do you have a girlfriend? 1) Why are you stealing from our refrigerator?"

"Whenever I experience happiness, I signal this to other humans by showing the sharpest part of my skeleton."