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Joke of the Day

"Axl Rose: Where do we go? Me: Left Axl: Where do we go now? Me: Straight. Axl: Oh, where do we go now? Me: Damn it, Axl, let me drive!"

"Switzerland on Austrians: ""Why is the Austrian flag red-white-red'?"" ""So that they can't raise it upside-down"""

"what do you mean I never take you anywhere we just took a 365 day trip around the sun"

"I'm getting drunk while depressed. If I have your phone number, now would be a good time to put your phone off."

"What does NASCAR really stand for? Non Athletic Sport Centered Around Rednecks"

"What do you call a Transformer that engages in illegal activities? Optimus *Crime*."

"Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven is a registered six offender"

"Would you people tweet something funny so I can steal it already? I need to update my Facebook status."

"So Darth Vader had been plotting against the Emperor for many years By the time return of the Jedi came around, he finally got his chance to overthrow the Emperor."

"Why did the boy stop using his Sony, his Boombox, and his Bose Radio? He stopped believing in stereotypes."