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Joke of the Day

"I like my women like I like my cold meats In-bread"

"human skin boots My friend paid $4,000 for human skin boots and pants. I told him how stupid that was--he could have had the same thing in black for $29."

"I'm the guy who asks for extra ketchup, notices he didn't get the extra ketchup, and says nothing further."

"Why did Native Americans stop sharing peace-pipes with settlers? They noticed the settlers were always blowing smoke out their ass."

"What did one lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire? I'll see you next month"

"I like my women with curves. Lots and lots of curves. In a sort of spiral shape, maybe with ketchup. Curly fries. I like curly fries"

"How do you know when a blonde has been using your computer? There is white-out on the screen. How do you know that another blonde has been using the computer? Someone has written on the white-out."

"Personal Trainer: Show me the hardest thing that you do each day. Me: *Goes out front door of gym, comes back in*"

"A guy walks into a bar and orders ten shots... Poor guy, he was filled with bullets in the end of the day."

"I'm a bit of a self deprecating comedian, I must admit, I'm not very good."