184260

Joke of the Day

"I'm a bit of a self deprecating comedian, I must admit, I'm not very good."

"*Opens fridge *Sees chocolate bar with a note ""please don't eat me"". *Eats chocolate bar Now who would want to eat a piece of paper?"

"Anyone who's says, ""It's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all"", has obviously never gone through a divorce."

"What's the most popular white wine All Lives Matter"

"How come you never see a pregnant Barbie? Because Ken comes in a different box!"

"Apparantly there is a term for Baywatch actors in their midlife crisis. It's called the Hoff-time show."

"I came home to find shit all over my rug. Owning a dog would really help me feel better right about now."

"Throughout the summer Trump's campaign was on the gas pedal... But now they have turned on Cruz control."

"Want to spice things up? Look them right in the eyes and lick their fingers seductively. My dentist didn't appreciate it, but yours might."

"How do you listen to Taylor Swift and N.W.A one after the other? Make a mixed tape."