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Joke of the Day

"Mom said angels are watching over me I'm just afraid they're taking notes to make sure I go to hell."

"My wife said she would come back home to me if I promised to give up my obsession with wanking on the staircase. I said, ""Okay, but can we take it one step at a time?"""

"Terms Of Sex Satisfaction. In Terms Of Sex Satisfaction Woman Is Like A Road & Man Is Like A Traveler The Traveler Gets Tired But The Road Never Ends."

"Is it solipsistic in here... Or is it just me?"

"I'm saving up my money for a sex change operation... ...and I don't care how much my wife protests it. I wanted a boy, dammit."

"Here lies Aunt Brenda. Trampled to death on the day after Thanksgiving trying to save $18 on a crock pot. Rest in peace, sweet angel."

"""Pistorius"" sounds like a spell Harry Potter would have use to make someone's legs disappear. This is Frankie Boyles joke, not mine"

"LeAnn Rimes No, it doesn't."

"Life is like a box of chocolates... It's expensive, you don't like half of it, and sometimes you can give the whole thing to a woman and she still wont have sex with you."

"Maybe your jeans are distressed because you're wearing them?"