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Joke of the Day

"Mom said angels are watching over me I'm just afraid they're taking notes to make sure I go to hell."

"What do you get when you cross a Jew with a Chinese person? Cha-Ching"

"What does the Interstellar soundtrack and a porno film have in common? Swelling organs."

"I measure my kids' ages in terms of percent complete out of eighteen years. My kids are 22% and 38%."

"Why did they call the masseuse sexist? He was massage-anistic.."

"Why didn't the little girl want to leave nursery school? She wanted to be a nurse."

"Some girl wanted me to take her to see 50 Shades of Grey... So I took her to Sherwin-Williams."

"My friend's kid just turned 7 and he's an amazing child and she loves him. To be blown away by more original content, please see Facebook"

"What did Tony Abbott (Prime minister of Australia) do with the half-eaten banana? He re-peeled it."

"what do anal sex and vegetables have in common? you enjoy both more as an adult if they arent forced on you as a child."