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Joke of the Day

"Two buddies just got home from working out at the gym... Guy 1: ""Dude, were out of protein powder!"" Guy 2: ""No Whey!"""

"It's my birthday tomorrow - in lieu of charitable donations, please send gifts."

"I was going to tell a Nirvana joke, but... Nevermind."

"Q: What did Boris Yelstin say when asked if meeting Clinton made want to convert Russia to the type of government they have in America? A: ""Never! I'm not going to let my wife run the country!!"""

"Whenever I throw bread at the birds in the river I always miss Because they duck."

"Please take selfies. There are enough pictures of sunsets and airplane wings. Your face is more interesting."

"Most women want a man who can make them laugh and also feel safe. So basically, a clown ninja. Good to know"

"""Can I shit here?"" ---- Sean Connery trying to make friends at the park but making enemies inshtead."

"What do you call a flying dinosaur who always gives you a chance? A Fairodactyl"

"Me: *staring into mirror* Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary *skeleton bartender appears and slides me a drink* SB: $8.50, $8.50, $8.50"