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Joke of the Day

"There are four main food groups: 1. Canned 2. Frozen 3. Drive-thru 4. Fried"

"Why don't you see tampons with maxi pads? Because they're stuck up cunts."

"My wife and I were watching some Show jumping. She looked at one of the horses and cackled, ""Look at the cock on that thing!"" I said, ""Don't be rude, he's probably a nice guy."""

"Did you hear about the French chef that committed suicide? He lost the huile d'olive."

"Have you guys seen Paula Deen's new restaurant menus? They only serve crackers."

"So two muffins are in an oven And on says, ""Gee, it's really hot in here."" And the other muffin says, ""HOLY SHIT A TALKING A MUFFIN!"""

"""hello 9-1-1 whats your emergency?"" hi yes it's me again i left the house 3 min ago but just realized i forgot my headphones"

"13 Hours Why did Hilary Clinton not go watch the movie 13 hours? She already slept through it once. Edit: sleep to slept"

"[Amazing Comeback] So I was reading comments on a LGBT friendly add(Android's #AndProud) > I hate fucking gays >> Stop having sex with gays then."

"Remember when mowhawks meant you were a tough punk rocker? Now they just mean that you're 3 and your parents are idiots."