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Joke of the Day

"I told the doctor I had to see him right away because I thought I was shrinking. He said he was busy and I'd just have to be a little patient."

"Finally, you get a cab. The driver is a golden retriever. You hop in and hope for the best"

"Whatever you do, always give 100%... Unless of course, you're donating blood."

"I interviewed for a new secretary today and the last girl blew it. So, she starts tomorrow."

"Doctor: ""Your wife is in hospital!""... Me: ""...How is she?"" Doctor: ""I'm afraid she's critical"". Me: ""Oh, you get used to that...""."

"what if donald trump has secretly been banksy the entire time"

"I once asked a Welshman how many sexual partners he had had in his life but never got an answer. He kept falling asleep whilst counting sheep."

"Where do mice park their boats? At the Hickory Dickory Dock!"

"Q: You know what the problem with political jokes is don't you? A: They get elected."

"MONSTER MOTHER: How many times have I told you not to eat with your fingers? Use the spade like everyone else."