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Joke of the Day

"I always close the door to the bathroom even if I'm home alone. What if someone broke in and saw me peeing? That would be so embarrassing"

"What's red and orange and looks great on hippies? Fire."

"daddy's lap Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady. Mom: Well, you have done the right thing. Son: But mom, I was sitting on daddy's lap."

"I got fired today for arranging the vegetables in a sexually suggestive way Apparently that's ""unacceptable behavior for a special needs teacher""."

"What are hurricanes with a central dense overcast over the eye called? -Hurricanes with cataracts"

"Today my girlfriend offered to finger me I was deeply touched."

"""Uno, dos..."" And just like that, the Spanish magician was gone without a tres."

"Why was Jimmy sad? Cause Jimmy had a frog stapled to his face."

"Happy Friday the Thirteenth I think it's bad luck to be superstitious"

"A white female President's first order of business would be instituting the ""No Cupcake Left Un-Instragrammed"" act."