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Joke of the Day

"Why did the sperm cross the road? Because I put the wrong socks on this morning."

"Me: how much is all the money in the world? Genie: not sure exactly Me: give me a ballpark figure POOOF *I'm now the size of Shea Stadium"

"(Waiter) ""What can I get you sir?"" (Gastronomist) ""Something with a simpler plot."""

"Why do people procrastinate? I'll tell you later."

"What do we want? An end to auto-correct errors! When do we want it? Cow! Sow! Bow! Tow! Duck this!"

"Where did the gay Wizard go? He disappeared with a poof."

"my grade for geography will be out of this world."

"My girlfriend called me a pedophile Which is a pretty big word for a 9 year old"

"[trying to stick a dollar in a vending machine] vending machine: i have a boyfriend"

"Pete and repeat are in a boat Pete and repeat are brothers. Pete falls overboard, who's left?"