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Joke of the Day

"""911"" ""Hello, my wife was cooking and she fell"" ""What's the emergency?"" ""How long before the rice is ready?"""

"What is Bill Cosby's favorite cocktail? A Cosbypolitan"

"If it looks like I'm typing for five minutes I'm really just trying to spell diarrhea."

"When can you dive in a swimming pool and not get your hair wet ? When your bald !"

"I've hit hard times, and to make money I'm going to sell my vacuum cleaner. Because right now it's just gathering dust."

"I found out that middle age is were you finally get your head together and then your body starts falling apart"

"Q: What do you call a beaten politician? A: Donald Trumped"

"It can get pretty exhausting hating as many people as I do in a day."

"Probably the worst time to ask ""shouldn't we go on a date first?"" is after getting handcuffed by a police officer."

"What's the best thing about Sweden? Well, their flag is a big plus..."