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Joke of the Day

"My best friend's marriage is such an inspiration. As a reminder that there are worse things than dying alone."

"What European capital has the most ghosts? Boodapest!"

"Last night I found out that my wife has conditional gender dysphoria. She said that she needed to be Frank with me."

"Places I'd Rather Not Live - Paradox, New York - Crapo, Maryland - Boogertown, North Carolina - Spasticville, Kansas - Hellhole, Idaho - Purgatory, Maine - Girdletree, Maryland - Rabbithash, Kentucky"

"I yell at my grandma to see if she is still alive It's a win win situation, either she's still alive or my inheritance just came in."

"My 6 year old has already asked me 4,327 questions this morning. I'm seriously considering getting another Vasectomy just to be safe."

"I came....I saw.... I'm a lumberjack who needs to stop watching porn & get a *life*...."

"Luis Suarez is to appear in the next Star Wars film. He'll play Chewbacca's brother, Chewshoulder."

"Roommate: hey blake I just bought this whiskey wanna explain why it's half empty? Me: cause you're a pessimist!"

"Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says we don't do livestock."