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Joke of the Day

"what do you call a rodent that smokes weed? A Hemp-ster"

"I don't need WebMD to tell me what's wrong with me, I have my mother."

"Do NOT lower your standards to ""keep"" anyone. Make them meet you at YOUR level. Self respect is power."

"I think I'm starting to see why it's a bad idea to give Trump access to nuclear launch codes... He'll just fire them"

"Chemistry Joke (Language) Daaaang girl, are you Fluorine, Uranium, Carbon, Potassium, Oxygen, Fluorine, and Fluorine? Cuz I want you to FUCK OFF"

"Why hasn't Kim Kardashian seen her asshole lately? He's on tour."

"Spike Milligan: ""All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy."""

"What's the difference between a tire and 365 condoms? One's a Goodyear, and the other's a great year. x/post from r/funny"

"who said that girls don't have a good sense of direction? they sure know their way down."

"Engineers are sexual intellectuals or in other words... Fucking know-it-alls"