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Joke of the Day
"How did the New Orlean Pelicans get their name? They should've gone with the Hurricanes."
Next Joke
"What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef What do you call a cow with 3 legs? Lean Beef What do you call a cow with 2 legs? Your mother"
"How do you kill a blue elephant? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? You strangle it until it turns blue, and then shoot it with the blue elephant gun."
"You agree to sound convincing when you lie about changing and I agree to believe you. Formalities over, let's get this relationship started."
"One time a girl tried sleeping with me for adderall... She was a total attention whore."
"I should've never taught my parrot to say the alphabet backwards now he drives drunk all the time the cops can't do shit it's a real problem"
"Him:Wow you came back from your run in record time... Me:It's amazing how fast you can go if you imagine your mother is chasing you..."
"What did one shark say to the other? These Malaysia Airline meals aren't bad."
"I just want to rub all over you........ ........with the front end of my car."
"Why did Kelly Clarkson cross the road? Because of you."