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Joke of the Day

"Why do you love your puppy more than you love your wife? Because the puppy only knows the tricks you taught her"

"What's the difference between a paycheck and a penis? You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck"

"Call it a hunch... But I'm pretty sure I have an abnormal convex curvature of the upper spine."

"God: Noah, I need an ark. Noah: Why don't you ask Joseph, the carpenter? God: Uh [huge grin] cos I'm banging his wife? [raises hand] up top?"

"If you're not using Social Media to spout your uninformed opinion then you're totally missing the point of the Internet."

"Why wasn't the patient concerned when she was told she had a brain tumor? The doctor said it was all in her head"

"My buddy plays golf like a man masturbating in a cold shower No matter how he strokes it's just not going to happen"

"Time Lords make the worst lovers... It's always bigger on the inside"

"Two tips for faster jogging- (1) hot girl in front of you; (2) creepy dude behind you. Also, if you're behind a (1) you're probably her (2)."

"""Once you go on the grass it is really hard to get out of it"". - my six year old nephew while playing NFS. I was like i know exactly what you are talking about!! ;)"