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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend is a special snowflake She's cold and flaky."

"I have a habit... I have a habit of flipping around letters in a word. You say pencil, I say cenpil. You say banana, I say nababa. You say popcorn, I shut up."

"What do you call a Mexican fist-fighting with a pedophile? Alien vs. Predator"

"IF all women are crazy... Then... You might as well pick a pretty one."

"Be careful of black ice. I rode my bike over some black ice once. I slipped and fell off, and when I looked up, my bike was gone."

"If there's an upset in the 2018 Russian Presidential elections, I'll never dine with a Russian again. They can't stop talking about going Putin-free."

"How can you tell if someone has a Jamaican accent? They roll their J's."

"If you're a vegan who ran a marathon & got your dogs from a shelter, how do you decide which thing to wedge into the conversation first?"

"Why was the mushroom happy? Because he was a fungi."

"What do you call it when a hobbit lives in the ghetto? Worcestershire"