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Joke of the Day

"What is it? It has wings, but it doesn't fly, it has a beak, but it doesn't peck, it has legs, but it doesn't walk. What is it? A dead crow"

"[First day as a private investigator] *Forgets to turn off camera shutter sound *Gets murdered"

"Former boy scout leader goes shopping A former boy scout leader goes shopping. He sits down and grabs his beef jerky. ""Tastes like boy scouts,"" he says."

"Q: How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Just one more guys I promise."

"My dream guy is hot, funny and smart. And he'll ask me to marry him with a green lantern ring. And he has powers. And a castle. And Yoshi."

"I hate menstruation jokes They're a bloody pain."

"I freak out when i don't see the L and R marks on headphones. There's no way I'm taking that risk."

"Hey, I heard someone is writing a book about your life. Guess who the author is? J.K. ROFLING, because your life is a joke."

"Religion: because reading one book is a lot easier than a whole bunch of hard ones."

"On one hand, I want to stop masturbating but on the other hand, I have my penis..."