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Joke of the Day

"At the #Adele concert, saw a girl on the corner of the stage repeatedly punching herself in the face. Realized she was the deaf interpreter."

"My Girlfriend said she was going to leave me because of my obsession with pointing out obvious escape routes... So I showed her the door."

"Science flies you to the moon Religion flies you into buildings"

"""FREEZE! NOBODY MOVE!"" Mother Nature"

"(x-post from /r/dadjokes) Did you hear about the new ultra-expensive cologne that's for sale? It's called ElonMuskTM"

"How are tornadoes and women alike? They both moan like hell when they come, and they take the whole damn house when they leave."

"Haha no i do not care what people think of me. Why what have u heard tell me everything right now"

"One can't fly, but a toucan."

"An Irish girl tells her mom she decided to be a prostitute. her mom says ""A WHAT""?!! The daughter says ""a prostitute"" then the mom says ""thank god... I thought you said a Protestant"""

"What's the worst thing about being a black Jew? You have to sit at the back seat of the oven."