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Joke of the Day

"What do you call someone on the borderline of being diagnosed with a borderline personality disorder? An asylum seeker."

"Morpheus: ""You take the blue pill, the story ends. You wake up in your bed and--"" Me: ""Blue pill."""

"Deja Poo The overwhelming feeling of ""I think I have heard this bullshit before."""

"My girlfriend left me when I refused to go the gym with her. It's a shame our relationship didn't work out."

"""Oh wow, way better!"" -Jedi Knight trying out a gun"

"Congratulations on having your 2nd kid. But aren't you supposed to learn from your past mistakes?"

"Hitler wasn't that bad of a guy I mean, he did kill Hitler."

"Sorry I replied ""yikes"" to your selfie."

"Are your parents bakers? Cause youre inbread."

"Gf: am I pretty or ugly? Bf: you're both hun :) Gf: what do you mean both? Bf: you're pretty ugly."