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Joke of the Day

"What's big, black and loaded with aids? A new Cadillac Escalade with cruise control, lane alert, navigation, downhill descent control and parking assist."

"I've decided to start listing the sources of my eggs. It's very eggs-citing."

"The police came to my door to tell me my dogs were chasing people on bikes. The fuck they are, I said. My dogs don't even have bikes."

"Why does Donald Trump take Xanax? For Hispanic attacks"

"What do you call a Russian with three testicles? Hudyanika Bolokov"

"At a recent meeting at the Vatican the pope joked ""I've never seen so many priests in one room"" I guess he's never been to a kids party then"

"What happened after 14-Year-Old Richie inherited his father's footwear empire? He came into a lot of socks."

"Me: *breaks down door Wife: WTF ARE YOU DOING? M: HOME INVASION! W: OMG stop breaking our house when you want sex. M: Soooooo W: No"

"Have you ever seen the movie called ""Constipated""? Well it never came out."

"Good dancer Girl: You would be a good dancer except for two things. Boy: What are the two things? Girl: Your feet."