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Joke of the Day

"""What? Huh? Talk louder. Nope, still nothing."" -5 minutes after receiving the deaf penalty"

"How many French people does it take to bake a baguette? 8. Because then they have wheat."

"What's the Hitler Youth's favorite weather? Heil"

"Can't sleep knowing there's a Toblerone in the mini bar."

"Every time student loan rates double, the price of solo cups should get cut in half."

"I almost confused a laxative and Ibuprofen and that would have changed my plans for the evening significantly"

"Why did the man tell his mom to get him out of prison? She had gotten him out of a tight spot before."

"The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it."

"How do you feel about tapes and cds? Well you're gonna love it when I tape my dick to your forehead so you can see dees nuts on your face."

"Just went too deep with a Q-Tip and now I can't do math."