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Joke of the Day
"""What? Huh? Talk louder. Nope, still nothing."" -5 minutes after receiving the deaf penalty"
Next Joke
"You know when geese are flying in a V, one side of the V is always longer than the other one? Know why that is? Cause there's more geese on that side."
"I like my coffee like Thomas Jefferson likes his women Hand picked from a field."
"""Does this mean that we're going to be BFFs forever?"
"*double-checks the constitution to see if we really have to have a president*"
"What's the similarity between your zero-exercise lifestyle and a professional weight-lifter competing in the Olympics? They both involve muscles and they both result in a-trophy."
"What Central American country has the most spooks? Ghosta Rica!"
"What is the difference Between a santa and a jew? Santa enters the chimney and jew leaves the chimney."
"I just googled ""Is there really cowbell in the actual song Don't Fear the Reaper?"" and my first response was, ""Go outside and do something."""
"How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a light bulb?"