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Joke of the Day
"Hipsters don't sleep with pillows because neither side is cool enough."
Next Joke
"What do Terrorist Witches ride? Boomsticks"
"My niece was the victim of demonic possession FOR THE SECOND TIME. She was repossessed."
"Girlfriend: ""I'm pregnant"" Me: ""Really? Thats great."" GF: ""April Fo--"" *I'm already on a plane to a non extradition country*"
"*takes off pants* *crawls into bed* Security Guard- Lady, this is Macy's *crawls out of bed* *puts on pants* SG- Those aren't your pants"
"What's black and doesn't work? A broken TV.............. racist."
"Why did the mafia cross the road? Hey forget about it"
"First monster: I have a hunch. Second monster: I thought you were a funny shape."
"For the English Q: What do you say to someone who appears to have done irreparable harm to themselves despite multiple warnings to the contrary? A: U.K. ?"
"""Your resume says you've been to prison?"" Me: Sorry, that's a mistake ""So you haven't?"" Me: I have, I just didn't mean to put it on there"