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Joke of the Day

"How many 'sah dudes does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, it's already lit."

"Recently I'm having a lot of bad dates! I've to try grapes now!"

"What do you call an 80lb midget with 40lb testicles? (SFW) Half nuts!"

"Why did peanut butter flop at the talent show? He didn't have the right jam."

"I was just watching some porn and I've got to tell you, I don't think those girls were REALLY studying before they started fooling around."

"Distraught after losing a full carton of milk, I tattooed its photo on my kid's face, in hope someone recognizes and returns it."

"Maybe the dinosaur extinction was a murder suicide by the T-Rex. If I couldn't jerk off because my arms were to short I'd kill everyone too."

"An Adele remix? Perfect now I can dance and cry at the same time."

"I never warn my wife before I pull the anal beads out.. I like starting the mower on the first tug."

"A fortune cookie told me I'd receive an important message soon. The message in the bottle told me the fortune cookie was poisoned."