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Joke of the Day

"[1st date] Me: [putting my jacket over my dates shoulders] Her: ""Thank you but I'm not cold"" Me: [covering her awful dress] ""Yes you are"""

"The girl at the table next to me is having a salad. Not as a starter, but as a main course like some kind of rabbit."

"What's the smartest animal on the farm? The farmer (this killed my 12yo brothers)"

"What's the difference between a lawyer and an Irishman? [OC] One has passed a BAR."

"Have you ever heard a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Probably not. The P is silent."

"I'm think about taking up Jousting so I have something to talk about at awkward dinner parties."

"An interracial couple eating Cheerios and non-English speakers drinking Coke. We're a Benghazi pizza commercial away from a Texas secession."

"Why are pills white instead of black? Because you want them to work don't you?"

"What is something a lot of redditors mix up? /r/askreddit and /r/jokes titles"

"Sex through the ages: Age 20-30: Tri-weekly Age 30-40: Try weekly Age 40-50: Try weakly"