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Joke of the Day

"How do you pass the Isis entrance exam? I don't know about you, I bombed it."

"Why is dog man's best friend? Because it's the only way to have a bitch that doesn't talk."

"Exec 1: So, you wait in long lines. No shade. Crying kids. Drinks cost $7.00. Exec 2: Nice. What do we call it? E1: Lol, ""amusement park."""

"I was blind for a while after eye surgery. Those were dark times."

"(Animal school) Lion: That's my desk Wildebeast: Sorry, I'm gnu -5 minutes later Sloth: *slowly falling from chair* Ha. Ha. Ha. Gnu!"

"Science has proven that everyone thinks about David Hasselhoff at least once while they masturbate. Don't believe me? Just wait until later."

"An Alzheimer's patient walks into bar... to get to the other side."

"Like this if you can't think of a clever status either..."

"Someone stole all the toilets from the police station downtown. The cops have nothing to go on."

"Why do women have periods? because they deserve them."