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Joke of the Day

"I'm going to write a book called ""stop obligatory dual language"" If no one buys it I'm going to study two languages."

"Two Guys Are Peeing Off a Bridge.. [NSFW] ...The first guy says to the other, ""Wow, this water's cold"", and the second guy replies, ""Yeah, and it's deep too!"""

"Why did the boy close his eyes before opening the refrigerator? He didn't want to see the salad dressing."

"What's the hardest part about dumping a Japanese girl? You have to drop the bomb on her twice before she gets it."

"Nothing's says I'm guilty of every crime imaginable quite like using your blinker to pull into your driveway..."

"Why did the blind man's alphabet soup only have 25 letters in it? Because he can't ""C"""

"Why is it everything I love is either unhealthy, addicting... ...or has multiple restraining orders against me?"

"Why are mirror makers proud of what they do? Their work is a reflection of themselves."

"What do you call a car if you don't know its gender? Mitsuheshe."

"People drinking wine in nice restaurants at 2:30 pm - Who are you and how do you get the time and money? Teach me."