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Joke of the Day

"Moderation: I don't know where it is... ...but they told us to drink in there."

"""The new iPhone 6 is bigger!"" Meh. ""It has more sensors!"" Pfft. ""You can block group texts."" I WOULD LIKE ONE THOUSAND OF YOUR IPHONE"

"I sold my homing pigeon 8 times last month on eBay."

"Two monsters went to a Halloween party. Suddenly one said to the other, ""A lady just rolled her eyes at me. What should I do?"" The other monster replied, ""Be a gentleman and roll them back to her."""

"The jerk store called. Instead of texting. Typical"

"Life is a soup And i am a fork"

"What's the worst thing about being a Jehovah's witness? Nobody asks, 'who's there?' when you try and tell a knock knock joke."

"How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber? Ask them to pronounce unionized."

"Ok so for next Halloween ill be mozart. ""I'll be beethoven!"" Yeah okay, calm down sally. So Mr. Terminator who will you be? ""I'LL BE BACH."""

"Had a girl say ""I want you to treat me like a virgin"" So I sacrificed her to a tiki god and threw her in a volcano."