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Joke of the Day

"When life throws you curveballs, swing at those motherf*ckers like Stevie Wonder with a lightsaber."

"Why does the US name Arkansas Arkansas Because Its Arkansas not YourKansas"

"I can be a real tiger in bed. No, wait, wait... What's that animal that plays dead?"

"This, being a gentleman thing really works. Women just fall for me when I offer them my handkerchief. Sure it's dabbed in chloroform..."

"The TSA doesn't take compliments well... All I said was that the TSA was the **BOMB** and they wouldn't let me leave!"

"70% of my enemies were once my friends."

"What's the fastest way to earn money as a photographer? By selling your camera."

"""I'm excited for the continental breakfast"" *sees a buffet just full of ice cubes* ""What the..."" Sign: Today's Continent is Antartica"

"Why did the pervert like to watch girls in their entrance hallways? He was a foyer."

"The awkward moment you're watching porn and your girlfriend walks in. I wish she'd told me she worked in the industry."