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Joke of the Day

"The North Korean Military"

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"I'm sorry I burned down your house, but the Mythbusters told me not to try it at home and you should really lock your doors when you go out."
"I met a really unfriendly Christian outside the church the other day. Told me to call him Mr Bale and shut the fuck up during filming."
"""Yo man, what's shakin'?"" Nepal"
"If you held a gun to my head and forced me to choose Tobey Maguire's Spider-Man or Andrew Garfield's, I'd probably shit my pants."
"What type of fossil fuel likes to tell dick jokes? Crude Oil"
"What piece of clothing is made overseas in an Asia country? Japanese"
"She: 5 mins babe He: Ok *discovers a new planet* *travels to it* *discovers life* *returns back* He: Ready? She: 5 mins babe"
"I have better things to do with my time than my job."
"Two old drunks I was sitting in a bar with my friend and I noticed two old drunks across the bar from us. I laughed and said, ""That's us in ten years."" My friend replied, ""That's a mirror, dipshit."""