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Joke of the Day

"How did the Chinese atheist get to heaven? Jesus said to him ""Behold! I am risen!"" and he said ""That's nice I don't bereave you."""

"How many dead hookers does it take to screw in a light bulb? I don't know, but it's not five, because my basement is still dark."

"Password: 1 upper case letter, 1 lower case letter, 1 stair case, 1 briefcase, 1 in case of emergency, 2 cases of beer, and 1 quesadilla."

"Why is it that.. ..we still fall for click bait titles?"

"What do you call a horny Catholic? A firm believer."

"When they were saying ""we will find a good home for him"" I thought they were talking about the dog,I didn't know they were talking about me!"

"How can you tell if a package is gay? It cums in the male"

"Protip: If you're bad at geography and someone asks about an obscure country just say ""isn't that where the oiled up Olympics guy is from?"""

"Son : Dad.... This movie is so scary... Is that woman going to die?? Dad : Judging by the size of that horse's dick, Yes she is"

"I took a bus in Thailand And I was sitting next to this really hot Thai girl. All I could think to myself was, ""Don't get an erection, don't get an erection""... but she did."