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Joke of the Day

"Guys guide to AC levels in car with spouse: If you're hot, she's cold If you're comfortable, she's cold If you're cold, she's not in the car"

"Knock Knock Who's there? You are (Directed by M night Shayamalan)"

"What is the name of one of the Chinese gymnasts competing at the Rio Olympics? Wai Tu Yung"

"A man drowned this morning eating a bowl of muesli. A strong current pulled him under."

"I wish I was a little bit kidding when I say that I just chose peanut M&Ms over regular ones because protein"

"Who's this Rorschach guy... And why does he paint so many penises?"

"A father and his son are watching their dog clean himself... Son: Don't you wish you could do that, Dad? Dad: Nah, I'm afraid he might bite me."

"Why are proteins so bad at poker? They always fold."

"Build a man a fire, he is warm for a day. Light a man on fire, he is warm for the rest of his life."

"If the opposite of con is pro... Is the opposite of constitution, prostitution?"