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Joke of the Day

"Juliet: you know it's true love, when you finish each other's- Romeo: LIFE Juliet: [sighs all annoyed] like why do you say shit like that?"

"What do Brussels sprouts and pubic have in common? You push them to the side and keep eating"

"Why do Asians have such small tits? Because they can only get As."

"Interviewer: How do you spell Mississippi? Redneck: Which one? The river or the state?"

"Cardinals are fornicating on my porch again! The birds...not the religious robey dudes."

"Have you ever played the Oscar Pistorius drinking game? Every time your girlfriend goes to the bathroom you take 4 Shots."

"What did Jay Z say to Beyonce after having an ice cream shoved up his arse? I'm feeling a bit sorbet."

"What is the thinnest book in the world? ""What Men Know About Women"""

"Ban pre-shredded cheese Make America grate again!"

"At first I didn't like my beard.. But now it's starting to grow on me."