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Joke of the Day

"Ancient people: turned grapes into wine, agave into tequila, and sugar cane into rum. Modern people: turn soy, rice, or almonds into milk."

"Why is Six afraid of Seven? Porque Siete ocho Nueve!"

"Why wasn't Christ born in Italy? They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin."

"I found out my girlfriend is really into buoyancy. I said ""Whatever floats your boat."""

"HURRICANE SANDY UPDATE Mitt Romney has advised everyone in the path of Hurricane Sandy to make their way to their 2nd or 3rd homes immediately."

"What do Pizzas and parents have in common? .. if they are black, you have nothing to eat!"

"As a child I wanted to be a personal trainer but I ended up as a politician. At least I still convince absolute idiots that change is being made."

"Why did the optimistic Chinese guy wish he had multiple personality disorder? He wanted to be the Changs he wanted to see in the world."

"Have you read that new book on antigravity? It's hard to put down!"

"[KK] Broken pencil Knock knock. Who's there? Broken pencil. Broken pencil who? ... nevermind, there's no point"