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Joke of the Day

"""I have a friend..."" ""I have a friend who watches Japanese anime and likes vandalising Renaissance art with drawing pins."" ""Really?"" ""Yeah, he loves A Tack on Titian!"""

"Relationships are like houseplants, if they're mine they die"

"Why do Kenyans always win marathons? At the end, they get a bag of chips and a Coke. -My dad told me this joke when we went to a race-"

"What did the liberal say to the chicken? Nothing. He's dead. He was shot and killed in a home invasion and did not have any guns to defend himself. Sarah Palin 2016"

"What has four legs and two assholes? A police horse."

"What do you call a girl that you meet on Reddit? You don't."

"Keep calm and text a random number...""I'm pregnant"""

"Why do french tanks have rear view mirrors? To see the battle."

"So cute how this taxi driver is taking an unnecessarily long route and driving slowly so he gets to spend more time with me."

"Why do people in France have to eat frog legs that ""taste like chicken""? If they eat real chicken they'll be arrested for cannibalism. Edit: grammar"