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Joke of the Day

"The guy who wrote the program that estimates how much time is left on a download did not take his job seriously at all."

"What do you call two gay chickpeas? Hummusexuals."

"What's the difference between Kung-Fu and Judo? One is the ancient art of self defense. The other is what you make bagels out of."

"What do you call a Mexican on a bike? a dirt bike"

"People have started rating HIV clinics on trip advisor The one time you don't want a positive review."

"What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident? A Tyrannosaurus Wrecks. EDIT: Spelled ""Tyrannosaurus"" incorrectly."

"Please follow the instructions 1) Read all instructions 2) Sacrifice a goat 3) Cut off your fingers 4) Eat glass 5) Only do number one"

"What's a nature philosopher's favorite rap song? Thoreau some mo'"

"I accidentally walked in on my daughter masturbating with a cucumber and I immediately shut the door. ""Ewe gross, I was going to eat that later, now it's going to taste like a cucumber"""

"What is it when a man talks nasty to a woman? Sexual harassment. What is it when a woman talks nasty to a man? $3.99 a minute"