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Joke of the Day
"Did you guys hear Adele might have cancer? It's not confirmed, but tumor has it"
Next Joke
"Opinions are like assholes... Fuck em"
"If Subway had put an extra piece of cheese on every sandwich without telling the customer, I wonder how many of those kids would've been able to outrun Jared."
"I'm on a plane with the dad from Home Alone and it's taking all my strength to not scream ""WE FORGOT KEVIN!"""
"[grocery store] Ok, milk... Check! Eggs... Check! Tomatoes... Check! ""Sir, can you wait for the total and just write one check please?"""
"Girl, are you a useless, obscure and unimportant punctuation mark? Because I want to interro-bang you"
"The challenge of modern relationships: how to prove more interesting than the other's smartphone."
"""why do they have such a nice house?"" -- my review of every movie"
"What do you call a terrible performance of Han Solo: The Musical? A rebel without applause."
"One bad mushroom trip in high school and here I am 15 years later still sexually attracted to Rosie O'Donnell."