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Joke of the Day

"So two guys walk into a bar... The first one orders h20, the second one says ""I'll have h20 too"". The second guy died."

"Who are the greatest philosophers today? The TSA. They are always asking people, ""Who are you?"", ""Where did you come from?"", ""Why are you here?"", and ""Where are you going?"""

"What do you call a basement full of SJW's? A whine cellar."

"How do you make beef stew? Tell a cow they're being watched."

"A reality show for little engines called ""So, You Think You Can?"""

"I'm really bad at measuring the correct amount of pasta, so if you and 79 of your friends want spaghetti tonight, come over"

"Why do you ask me to press 1 for english when you know damn well you're going to transfer me to someone who doesn't speak english?"

"A masked priest just threw some holy water at me... ... I think it was a blessing in disguise."

"WAT DO WE WAMT ""woaw calm dowm dude"" WHEN DO WE WAMT IT ""u kno this is just a line to try ham sampels at costco right"""

"Opening a Christian gym called 'Jehovah's Fitness'"