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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a snake that works for the government? ~~A civil serpent~~ Senator."

"How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb? None they'd rather keep their clients in the dark."

"I call my dick fun Because it's what girls just want to have!"

"HIM: You know what we should do at our wedding reception? [at the same time] ME: Murder-suicide HIM: The chicken dance!"

"An old man told me this old joke: What did the blind man say when he walked past the fish store? ""Hello, ladies"""

"ME: ppl call dogs ""doggo"" now. i guess its a meme, i dont get it THERAPIST: this is $200/hr. do you want to talk about anything else? ME: no"

"I bet Metallica gets really upset whenever they walk through a metal detector and it doesn't go off."

"Q: How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb? A: Five. One to handle the bulb and 4 to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it."

"What do you get if you cross a worm and an elephant ? Very big worm holes in your garden !"

"WHAT DO WE WANT? A NAP!! THEN WHY ARE WE YELLING?"