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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a tweaker (meth addict) who goes to church? A Crystal Methodist."

"Knock Knock. Christmas. Who's there? Oops, looks like Christmas came early this year."

"I asked my North-Korean friend how it was there... He said he couldn't complain."

"Stickiest things in the world: 3) Lollipops 2) Glue 1) Children's library books"

"I have stopped debating with master since the day ... ... I subscribed /r/nofap. Got to keep up with the community."

"Boss: Is that beer? You're not supposed to drink at work! Me: You're not supposed to cheat on your wife. Boss: You're doing a great job."

"[at aquarium] ""Kids, the blowfish is named bc of its cheeks"" BLOWFISH: [taps glass] actually that's a common misconception, got any cocaine?"

"Whenever someone says ""you know who you are,"" I always wonder if it's me and I don't realize it."

"Things I suck at:1. Being attractive.2. Being normal.3. Relationships.4. Texting back.5. Math.6. Life."

"I heard a great joke about a boomerang earlier. I'm sure it will come back to me eventually."