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Joke of the Day

"A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. When the neutron gets his drink, he asks, ""Bartender, how much do I owe you?"" The bartender replies, ""For you, neutron, no charge."""

"Who was the most important Knight of the Round Table? Sir Cumference."

"what do people call bob the builder when he's not building anything? bob"

"The sweater you left is in the closet. just like you."

"Nothing says ""I'm unemployed"" like wishing for snow on Facebook."

"I just want a girl that's nice and sweet that doesn't require a lot of money and I can dunk them in milk wait, a cookie, I want a cookie"

"They're calling the internet a drug now. Don't worry, though. It's not as bad as Cocaine or Heroin. They're calling it a 503 bad gateway drug."

"What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Slap her."

"I just got laid. But don't worry, I was totally thinking about you guys the whole time."

"What's worse than a girl falling asleep during sex? A girl waking up during sex."