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Joke of the Day

"Procrastination Paradox... If you come in last in a procrastination contest because you procrastinated, does that make you the best or worst at procrastinating...???"

"You know you're getting old when you can't tell the difference between a heart attack and an orgasm."

"Boy: You've got a face like a million dollars. Girl: Have I really? Boy: Yes ? it's green and wrinkly."

"There are 3 reasons for ""Liking"" someone's Facebook status: 1. I agree. 2. I realise this is about me, so I'm liking it to rub it in your face. 3. I want to bang you."

"What's the worst thing about having a huge dick? Trying to hide it under the skirt."

"What's the name of Michael J Fox's dry-cleaner? Park and Sons. /Park en sons/ http://i157.photobucket.com/albums/t57/Thomzilla/Fazed/michael_j_fox_shaken_not_stirred.gif"

"Why does Dr. Pepper come in bottles? Because he's a fucking creep"

"Did you hear about the witch who was ashamed of her long black hair? She always wore long gloves to cover it up."

"I once went out with a girl who worked with bees My friends said she was a keeper"

"A red boat and a blue boat crash into each other in the ocean... All the passengers were marooned."