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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a movie rental machine and several prehistoric towns? One is Redbox, the others are Bedrocks."

"What do you tell a cow that's in the way? Mooooooooooooove."

"That voice inside my head has a different accent every time I read a new tweet"

"You're a vegetarian? That's a missed steak"

"Al Gore should have had a band named The Algorehythms. Courtesy of my dad at lunch today."

"Saw a hitchhiker holding a sign Anywhere But Here' So I swerved, hit him. Now he's in a ditch. Hope that's ok, he wasn't really specific."

"I broke my hymen riding a horse... Its dick sure was huge!"

"[preppin for rap battle] *pops retainer out* dont wanna give him any ammunition *takes off suspenders* that should do it *rollerblades away*"

"Screw it, I'm starting Friday now."

"Why did the smoothie get assassinated? He got mixed up with a few bad apples."