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Joke of the Day

"Q: What did the girl sea say when the boy sea asked her for a date? A: Shore."

"I would like to thank President Donald Trump on behalf of my wife... suddenly the thousands I invested into Canadian dating sites wasn't so worthless after all."

"How do you know when your sister is on her period? when your dad's dick tastes like blood"

"Why couldn't the potato get off the couch? Because it was baked."

"""A parent's only as good as their dumbest kid. If one wins a Nobel Prize but the other gets robbed by a hooker, you failed."""

"Hey, do you like Duck Hunt? What are you, a lesbian duck?"

"What do you call a 6 year old with no friends? A Sandy Hook survivor"

"Guy asks his girlfriend to tell him something that will make him happy and sad at the same time. She thinks for a few seconds and replies.... Your penis is bigger than your father's."

"I used to go to Weight Watchers to meet women [FIXED] Turns out they're way harder to pick up than I thought."

"I've spent the last hour masturbating on the couch. This psychiatrist seems to be taking a lot of notes."