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Joke of the Day

"Greeting card [cover] Sorry to hear about your Alzheimer's [inside] Sorry to hear about your Alzheimer's"

"Just tried to kill a snake in the backyard. And by kill I mean screaming as loudly as a human can in an attempt to make its head explode."

"I'm gonna make you .org until you .com everywhere."

"I wouldn't say I hate my dad... But I can't deny he's a real motherfucker."

"Food products made from real ingredients, unlike margarine, are whey butter."

"What's better than a rose on a piano? Tulips on an organ. Edit: accidentally a letter."

"Accidentally dropped a magic mushroom in my cats litter box & now he's laying across the driveway staring at the stars & quoting Kierkegaard"

"Reddit you say? Yeah, I redd-about-it. *rimshot* PS: Sorry for subjecting you to this horrible fucking joke."

"What did the orphan say when the orphanage burned down? Nothing. He just laughed."

"A Mexican man has two penises. What did he name them? Jose and Hose B."