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Joke of the Day
"Knock Knock. Who's there? I eat mop. I eat mop who?"
Next Joke
"Why do people take such an instant dislike to Ted Cruz ? It saves so much time."
"What did the ascetic say when he broke his fast? [OC] I think I'll go on a diet!"
"Never judge Darth Vader's parenting abilities harshly when we live in a world where Toddlers In Tiaras exists."
"How do you spot a vegan at the gym? Pretty much the same as anyone else."
"Whats about 9 inches and makes a woman scream? Cot death."
"I think my cat is using me for my money I mean the sex is great, but I just don't feel an emotional connection."
"""I could eat."" - How I answer most questions, even if they're not food-related."
"I like my women like I like my computer Turned on On my lap And virus free"
"I like my Thanksgiving turkey like I like my own ass On the dining room table, with my family gathered round, and with my grandmum's fists in it pulling out the stuffing."