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Joke of the Day

"How much does a red lightsaber cost? An arm and a leg ^^edit: ^^slightly ^^improved ^^punchline"

"Don't introduce a guy to another guy. No guy needs to know any more guys."

"What do you call a cockroach filing a complaint? A Bug report"

"So the doctor tells me I have Cancer.... I said, ""That's nonsense, I'm a Gemini."""

"Why does Pinocchio lie? Because he's a fucking liar."

"Wouldn't it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for 10 mins and come out wrinkle free and 2 sizes smaller..."

"Women are like swimming pools... ...both are too expensive for the time you spend inside..."

"How did ISIS do on their French exam? They bombed it..."

"Patient (to cosmetic surgeon): Will it hurt me doctor? Surgeon: Only when you get my bill Mrs Brown."

"I fell in love with a prostitute last night, she had literally everything I have ever wanted in a woman My dick"