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Joke of the Day

"They say people couldn't have everything because they don't have enough space to put it, I say 'everything' includes a bag with infinite space so I can put everything in easily."

"Police: THIS IS THE POLICE! OPEN YOUR DOOR NOW!!!!!! Me: Not with that attitude."

"Gene Simmons is giving tongue to a Hamas tunnel. His tongue is so long it comes out at the other end of the tunnel."

"Why has the Malaysian Government banned Cheese Boards? Because people keep reporting they've found de brie."

"My doctor said my blood sodium level is apparently too high but I take everything with a grain of salt."

"What do you call a midget psychic that broke out of prison? A small medium at large!"

"A Meteorologist's best subject is small talk. They only talk about the weather."

"I have an EpiPen... My friend gave it to me as he was dying...It seemed pretty important to him that I have it, I'll cherish it always. edit: grammar"

"What do they call American Liberty in Israel? A valid target."

"When did they decide that every razor had to look like a piece that fell off a Transformer?"