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Joke of the Day

"What is green, fuzzy, and can kill you if it falls out of a tree A pool table"

"To those who hate birds. I think they're pretty fly myself."

"2 is the only even prime number. It's kind of odd, isn't it?"

"*being wrestled away from mall santa by security* u hav TWO WEEKS until deadline and ur out here doing PHOTO OPS?! WHOS DOINGE THE REAL WORK"

"I know Jiu-Jitsu, Sambo, Judo, Aikido and lots of other scary words."

"Why can't you tell secrets in a corn field? ...because there are too many ears."

"Wife: ""Notice anything?"" Me: ""Is it your hair, shoes, dress, eyelashes, mascara, lipstick, or nails?"" Wife: ""You forgot to wear pants."""

"Q: How can you steal the window seat of a blonde on a plane going to London? A: Tell her the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row."

"What do you call someone infected with herpes... Who refuses to date someone else infected with herpes... A Herpocrit! A very awesome friend said he came up with this just randomly, do I believe him?"

"I kayak. Canoe?"