185256

Joke of the Day

"Q: What does a blonde say when you asked her what the last two words of the national anthem are? A: Play ball."

"18 years ago my 4rd grade teacher said to me ""You aren't shit and you'll never amount to anything.""... I guess it's safe to say, she was a psychic. Wonder if she can predict the lottery too."

"Being an adult is 90% worrying about money and 10% spending money you don't have on treats because you've worried a lot this week."

"What's the difference between a penis and a criminal? Well a penis gets hard, but a criminal does HARD time!"

"1% battery..... Because I like to live on the"

"I'll huff I'll puff and I'll smoke all of your stuff. -Big Broke Wolf"

"The first rule of relationships: You don't find out why someone was available until it's too late."

"What did the mother bullet say to the father bullet? We're having a BB."

"What's the difference between a group of baboons and our political system? I don't know."

"I call my girlfriend Dumbledore. She's a head master."