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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a group of baboons and our political system? I don't know."

"Take a day off. Pamper yourself. Visit a spa. Pour melted wax on ur body. Rip the hair out by the roots. Inject poison into ur face. Relax."

"I wonder if tap dancers walk into a room, look at the floor and think, ""I'd tap that."""

"*follows Dreams* ~dream doesn't follow back~ ~unfollows Dream~"

"There are two types of guys: those who pee in the shower and those who don't admit it."

"Every restroom says gentleman on it...since I'm a degenerate asshole I've been pissing in the trash cans outsidee them."

"Why did the surfer join ISIS? Because he was totally radical! EDIT: I guess this didn't blow up."

"Who invented cereals? Chris P."

"I got Indian food with a friend and paid for all the bread It was a nan issue."

"""I'M A DOG!"" ""I'M A DOG TOO!"" ""WE'RE DOGS!"" - dogs"